CW: child abuse, sexual abuse, religious trauma
When people in White Evangelical Christian communities talk about their pastors and leaders, it is in glowing terms. We love to talk about their faithfulness, wisdom, skill, and humility. We speak of how they “shepherd” and we like to call ourselves the “sheep.”
What we don’t love is hearing about how our favorite, beloved Christian failed someone else. We don’t like hearing about how they did something unsavory or evil. Heaven forbid they cover for someone else who did those things! Clearly, they did nothing wrong! They’re just standing up for Christian unity, or forgiveness.
John MacArthur has been a popular recent topic both within and outside Christian circles for his and his teams actions at Grace Community Church (GCC). The response of many White Evangelicals has been to defend him against many credible accusations of covering and enabling abuse which span over 40 years. To read the stories of abuse and the subsequent cover-up is to sit with survivors of terrible harm. Beloved people who have endured years of being told to stay with their abusers, their pleas for justice ignored, and their faith communities abandon them.
The practices that have been reported go far beyond just GCC. Survivors of abuse and religious trauma have been telling us for a very long time that their leaders have said the same things. They come from many walks of life, different Christian denominations and traditions. I’m here to tell you that I am a survivor, too.
My childhood was a difficult one, and that’s putting it lightly. The 1990’s were completely tumultuous for my family. We moved twice, changed homeschool groups more than that, and changed churches 6 or 7 different times. Community around us was constantly changing, our friend groups weaving in and out of each other. It was a blessing that I knew a few people consistently as a young child.
The truest constant was the abuse that I and my siblings suffered at the hands of my parents, and which my mother shouldered under my father. Before I was born, my parents involved us in Bill Gothard’s Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP). Some of my earliest memories of moral enforcement and loss I would later learn are of the Satanic Panic.
We were beaten with hands, sticks, spoons, belts; when our parents didn’t know who did something “wrong,” they would beat us in a group until one of us “confessed.” We were exposed to sexual concepts early and often, mostly through our father; I won’t speak for my siblings, but for me he directly sexually abused me.
Our parents controlled our comings and goings, who we knew, and how we learned… in all aspects. Living in our house was false imprisonment. This isn’t hyperbole. They sometimes would go so far as limiting when we could go to the bathroom.
The other constant was going to church. When I was born and for many years we were Plymouth Brethren, then Baptist; for 8 years, we moved among Mennonite and Charity Church communities, eventually going back to Plymouth Brethren. I cannot remember a single week where we didn’t at least try to go to a meeting.
Our parents felt committed to those communities. They found people and leadership who could counsel them, guide their decisions, and encourage them. There were other adults with whom we children could talk, and usually Sunday school. It was not the fault of Christian leaders that my parents chose to abuse me and my siblings, or that my father abused my mother.
However, every single Christian leader shared with them a tool or practice that my parents used to abuse us. Everything, from IBLP, burning “Satanic” materials like Star Wars, the perfect tool to use for spanking, to controlling where we could go and when even in our own home, came from some guidance of a pastor, some book given freely by a leader. Then, when one of us children would go to another adult, one of two things would happen.
The most common response I would hear went something like this, “Unity is more important than justice; your parents must be sorry for what they’ve done. Go back to them, they love you, and they’re responsible for you.” Almost always, whether or not they said that, those adults would go straight to our parents with our “betrayal.” Often, my parents would then go to counseling with a pastor or leader.
Perhaps you’re reading this and you think, “well, of course, and then police were alerted or child services was called.” Perhaps that’s why we changed churches so many times. Perhaps someone in leadership with a conscience tried to do something.
The problem is that enabling abuse isn’t limited to covering up abuse. Trusted mentors, counselors, pastors, and leaders can enable abuse with simple, bad advice. By assuming that they know what they’re talking about, they can hand an abuser the exact resource that justifies the abuse. This isn’t just about covering for abusers (which Christians in my past absolutely did), it’s about giving abusers the tools they need to succeed.
So when you’re reading about John MacArthur and GCC, don’t just think about the people who finally had a conscience and spoke up. Consider that those same people enabled the abuse by supporting abusers with counsel, mentorship, books, and other types of aid. Consider that the stories you are being told are about a serious, evil flaw in White Evangelical Christian culture to put their Christianity above every other institution which could truly help survivors of abuse.
When you read these stories, you are seeing Christian Supremacy in action. You are seeing leaders who played God, thinking that they were helping. But the fact is that they enabled the abuse you are seeing.
I beg you to hear the survivors at GCC, in the Southern Baptist Convention, in Amish and Mennonite communities, in the Anglican church, everywhere. Understand that their abuse is not some exception in those places; it’s a product of Christian leaders enabling it. Help them in their search for justice. Support them by advocating for investigations by state and legal authorities, donating money to advocacy groups, and most of all by believing.
Please help us end abuse in our culture.
Aaron lives in Eau Claire, WI with his wife and two children, and a few friends who claim the family's game room as their own.
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An eloquent, heartbreaking plea for recognition and justice. Thank you for revealing yet another way abusers are enabled—it’s important information for congregants to be aware of. May the God who sees bring comfort, may His people being swift change, along with whatever justice is possible.
I am so sorry you went through this. Bill Gothard really introduced destructive ideas into the Church but I’m glad people are starting to speak out. Have you seen Jinger Duggar’s new book? She’s also starting to speak out. <3
Also I would give some push back to this statement: "you are seeing Christian Supremacy in action". Nothing you presented here is Christian Supremacy. The problem here is Patriarchy. I wouldn't bring it up but like we were mutuals on Twitter, I expected better from you. Like did I fool myself into thinking we were allies?
It’s both Christian Supremacy and patriarchy in action. Too many conservative Christians tend to think they know better than any experienced, credentialed professional in nearly every area of life: physical and mental health, public health, parenting, child abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, etc. because they have the Holy Spirit and “wise counsel” from their like-minded leaders/friends, guiding them–that leads to a supremacy mindset of “I know better than any expert, and I even know what’s better for you, all because I know God better than you do.” Rather, they could be recognizing that all truth is God’s truth, and there are valid, research-proven methods for educating/engaging/intervening by experts in any of the above fields. It’s pretty difficult to get through to that supremacy mindset–there is zero humility, and no uncertainty that they might be wrong. It also handily excuses any abhorrent behaviors they don’t want exposed. And yes, the patriarchy is the system that supersedes, creates and maintains these situations, running through and over it all. Several of the people he described were mandatory reporters who utterly failed to do their jobs. While you made a good point, maybe you could consider engaging without remonstrating and questioning whether he’s an ally, when he simply described one causal factor instead of two.
No, it is just Patriarchy. Don’t assume I’m conservative or that you know the situation that brings me to question if he is one.
Stevie, there are many different causal factors for abuse. In the home, there’s myriad reasons ranging from what we believe, like patriarchy or personal superiority, to what mental ills we have, like PTSD, narcissism, and effects of complex childhood abuse. In larger systems, like Christianity and society, there’s many different things that can contribute to abuse. As you mentioned, one of the chief contributors is Patriarchy, which I would also say includes complementarianism. How do we explain abuse in egalitarian circles? It still persists, albeit at lower rates institutionally. I’ve heard some analyses which try to attribute it to latent effects of patriarchy. However, even in patriarchal institutions there’s not a single contributor. Much has been done by Atheists and Jewish people to uncover and document the mechanisms, history, and effects of Christian Supremacy. My effort here was to discuss the specific abuses suffered by my family across many denominations, not all of which were male-centric, and how those abuses could be explained by systemic Christian Supremacy. Patriarchy is not the only kind of supremacy which is practiced by our peers in Christianity. There are multitudes of which we must repent.
Does every Christian practice Christian Supremacy? No. Am I blaming all Christians for Christian Supremacy? No. If you see yourself in my critiques of Christian Supremacy, you either need to ask yourself why that is or understand that I am not talking about you, individually but about collective institutions.
Aaron, just because I have a problem with your terminology does not mean I see myself in your criticism. Nor does it mean that I don’t see or acknowledge that people use Christianity for their own desires.
You’re a programmer: this is me pushing back on a variable name, not the need or use of the variable.
The phrase “Christian Supremacy” doesn’t say you stop at the collective institutions because it includes every thing even remotely associated with Christianity. To expect people to assume that you just mean a subset really just causes confusion and prejudice, as we are showing by having this conversation.
Now I would totally buy that there is Church Supremacy or Pastor Supremacy; but in my experience, those who are against Christian Supremacy always end up being against even the individual following Jesus.
But I’ve said all this before on Twitter thus I don’t expect you, or anyone, to start listening to me now. Nor do I know why I care. The message has been received loud and clear: my voice is not welcome in this world.
God bless.
Perhaps starting with a foundation such as “a virgin birth” is to blame for the entrenched abuse. Gaslighting is abuse. That’s effectively what Christianity is to begin with. If I had a son, and I told him the story of Jesus, he should have no reason not to believe that if his fiance gets pregnant and he has not engaged in sexual intercourse with her, that she is pregnant with the son of God.
Religion or communal spirituality has some benefits, namely the sense of community, but let’s not pretend a foundation built on deceit warrants surprise or shock when it is found that so much built on that foundation is rotten as well. Suspension of disbelief. And on it goes.